Rare

          It's difficult to find friends but it is more difficult to find real friends who can be worthy of your trust. We can get fooled by the looks and simple gestures. But once they turn their backs at us they become completely different persons. That is why I don't get too caught up with the idea of having a best friend. I'm not saying that they don't exist, because they do. They are just rare and hard to find.

         Part of me will always have that trust issue whether with friends or significant others. There will always be that cloud of doubt in my mind. Always finding that 75% possibility that the other person will screw up. Trusting always equates to hurting. Nobody can change my mind about that. -C

Shane Filan Live in Manila

           For every concert that I've been to, I always make it a point to check the setlist a few weeks before so I can sing along during the show or simply be familiar with the songs so I can appreciate it more when performed live. But with Shane Filan, I didn't bother checking it. I didn't have to. I would know every song, by heart. I guess I can even tell you the title by just hearing the first three notes. Yes, a friend of mine can attest to that and she thinks it's funny and crazy. Also, I don't have any intentions of singing along. I just want to listen to him, all day, all night. He's one of those singers who "can sing the dictionary and would still sound amazing". His voice is just magical and angelic. Did I mention that I want him to sing to my wedding even if I have no plans of marrying? Yeah. So that kind of evens out -- an impossible dream for an impossible thing. ;)

          I was at the venue by 7:30pm and there is a long line outside. They didn't let us in until 8pm but that's fine. I didn't expect the show to start on time anyway. It usually starts at 9-ish not unless there's a front act. Though in this case, there is (a front act) -- Klarisse de Guzman from The Voice of the Philippines. But before anything else, let me comment on the Silver and Gold section issue. I didn't know that we will be on the SAME section, and by same section I mean no barriers. Seriously!? Where is fairness in that? When I bought my ticket, the saleslady told me that Silver tickets are sold out so I got Gold instead. But from the looks of it, I'm pretty sure it's not sold out. I just can't tell if that was their marketing/sales strategy or the fact that it rained really hard that night and that the streets are flooded and everyone was stuck in a horrible traffic.

          Going back to the show... Klarisse did four or five songs (I think) and we waited for another 15 minutes or so. Then the lights went out. People started screaming. It's the signal. The show is about to start. The band started playing and Shane's voice started singing. Everyone is freaking out as if we were teenagers again. And then the smoke subsided and there he was -- looking a little older but still have the same smile. He opened the show with When I Met You, a song from his solo album. The crowd was still loud despite the volume, especially in the VIP section. He immediately followed it with Uptown Girl. I knew he's going to sing some Westlife songs hinting from his The Voice guesting.

            His voice didn't age a bit. It's the same old voice that made all the girls fall in love with Westlife. Everyone sing along when asked. And by everyone I mean men and women, young and old. I can't use boys and girls anymore because I think we've all grown up together with the band.  But seriously I was surprised to see young faces in the crowd. I didn't know he's a hit with teenagers. Don't hate on me but I mean, today is 1D, The Vamps and 5SOS' era.

 

           He greeted the crowd after his first set (I know it's routine but it still feels personal to me) and shared that he told his band that they have to come to our country because we are a great crowd and that that night, we didn't disappoint. And to continue, he introduced his third song. He goes, "this next song is called... What Makes a Man" and the girls go "oh my gosh!" and it's so funny that every introduction of a song would get the same reaction from us as if we were not expecting it. Girls, girls, girls! Behave! But you cannot blame them, I mean... US. We were teenagers all over again. Then, My Love!?, that song always get great reaction from the crowd especially because it was the number one song in the Philippines for like... a century.

         They changed the setting to a chilled out, laid-back, sitting-on-a-stool, hand-swaying kind of show. He was interactive with the fans. He was asking questions, listening to responses, returning every "I love you's", telling stories and throwing jokes. He sang two more songs from his solo album and then brought us back to 1998 with Swear It Again. Ahhhh! That song... It was that song that started it all for me. I remember being in grade school again. :)

                  Shane's next song... I remember he was once asked on an Irish radio station, if there is one song that he wished was a Westlife song, what would it be? He only had one song in mind, Amazed by Lonestar. I'm not really a big fan of the song but when I heard him cover it in one of his shows, I was LSS-ing for weeks. I just can't get over how beautiful his voice is. 

                Halfway through the show, he called Klarisse back to join him on stage. He gave her a hug and she was enjoying the moment teasing every girl in the crowd by prolonging the hug and looking back at the audience to watch all the jealous eyes and envious reactions. They did a duet version of Flying Without Wings and I figured Shane needed help with Mark's part because it's too high for his voice. She didn't give it justice though. Just an opinion, don't be mad at me.

                  He took his coat off and put his sunglasses on. Ooopps! I was thinking, where is he going with this? And before I knew it, he was dancing to Robin Thicke's Blurred Lines. Oh no Shane! Don't dance like that. You can't dance like that! You are my only memory of innocence, don't ruin it for me. Haha! Kidding aside, this is the part when he covers some new songs. Westlife does this too. It's part of their routine.

              Overall, I think the show is a success. It feels more intimate than any other concert that I've been too. The volume is much smaller but the crowd couldn't be any louder. The highlight of the show is when he chose one fan from the crowd who brought banners and posters. He picked a girl who was celebrating her birthday that day. If I may just add, the guy who picked this girl up from the crowd and escorted her onstage is a fox. Haha! A guy who looks like that cannot escape my eagle eyes. Just saying. Anyhow, this girl went onstage and gave Shane a hug and vice versa, and they did it again, and again and again. Yeah, I think they hugged a little too much. And he sang her Mandy! Freaking Mandy! And then they hugged some more. Lucky girl. 

                Oh I forgot to mention, there is one letdown for me. A few days before the show, he teased on Facebook that maybe, just maybe, he will sing Beautiful in White. I was looking forward to this moment, people are screaming the title of the song to him. Well, he gave in to our requests but he just sang the chorus part. Not.Enough! He explained that Westlife did not record it but it still received a very positive feedback from the fans so it will be included in the next album as decided by the fans. Not.Enough! His news excites me though but I was also a little worried that after he release it, a lot of people will hear it, like it and it will become everyone's wedding song. It was supposed to be MY wedding song. Just MINE. I know, I'm a little selfish. Just a little. -C

SETLIST:

When I Met You

Uptown Girl

What Makes A Man

My Love

Baby Let's Dance

Once

Swear It Again

Amazed

Flying W/o Wings w/ Klarisse de Guzman

Medley (Blurred Lines, Wake Me Up)

What About Now

Mandy

Let It Be

About You

Beautiful in White (chorus)

You Raise Me Up

Encore:

Everything to Me

Knee Deep in My Heart

Companion-LESS

           

          Okay, so here's the thing. I 'm not really sure how to start this but for every concert that I've been to, I always try to write a review or a story. I try to write everything that I remember so I can relive the moment by just reading my old posts. As much as I want to take as many pictures as I can, I really want to savor the moment, the truth, the fact that we're breathing the same air and the artist that I only hear on my iPhone and see on TV is performing right there in front of me. Surreal! Some people may not understand why I spend a certain amount of money for just one night but I'm sure there are a lot of people out there who do. But so much for an introduction. So here's my story.

     

             When Shane Filan came back to the Philippines as a solo artist, he did some promos and promised to come back to do a show. I wasn't as excited as I was when they announced (as Westlife) that they're having a concert. Don't get me wrong, I'm a huge Westlife fan but a quarter of a band is not the band. And I'm a Nicky Byrne fan. But when he performed on The Voice Philippines and sang Westlife songs, it hit me, HE IS WESTLIFE.  Well, not really but he IS the voice behind every Westlife song. He is the lead vocals and I loved their songs for his voice.

              

            I had a plan to watch the show with a friend (who is a Shane Filan fan by the way). Come September, this friend told me she can't go so I decided not to go too. Three days before the show, Shane teased on Facebook that he might sing Beautiful In White. THAT made me think twice. That's my wedding song. Not that I'm married but I want that to be my wedding song and in my dream, Shane is MY wedding singer.

                Alright, enough of daydreaming... For two days I was trying to decide whether to watch the show or not. I know that there is no guarantee that he will be back here to do another show. And my dream of going to Ireland is too far from reality right now. If I go, I don't know anyone else who's going so I'm bringing my nephew and pay for his ticket too. I was torn between those thoughts. 

               At work, while I was staring at nothing, contemplating my decision, THAT same song, Beautiful In White played... and I'm done. That's my sign.I dragged my officemate to escort me to Ticketnet. But I guess I'm two days too late because there are no more Silver tickets available. In my head I was thinking, I can't spend Php 6k plus (3k each for 2 Gold tickets) in one night! So I bought just one. My officemate told me that I've watch a concert without a companion before so there is nothing new with doing it again. I know that but I think I've forgotten how it felt back then. It's been  more than 3 years. I also came to realize that I've been doing it for my favorite Irish people (Westlife and The Script).

             The show will start in about 4 hours from now and I'm writing this entry instead of concentrating on my work. It just goes to show how excited I am right now. Please make my night Shane Filan. 

P.S.

I was only supposed to write an introduction. -C

Movies vs. Books

           Okay, so I've seen and heard a lot of complaints about movie adaptations deviating from the original story (book story). And as a bookworm, I'm guilty of it too. But... but here's my take on this. We have to understand that movie makers have to be creative. There's only so much that you can do in a movie. And I'm not speaking on behalf of the movie makers out there because I know nothing about making one. It's just that I know the fact that you can put a lot of details in writing but not in pictures and videos or movies for that matter. They have to create ways to encapsulate everything in less than two hours. They have to show something that would touch the viewers' hearts the way the book did to its readers. Actors have to show feelings and reactions that are clearly and extensively described in books. And narration in a movie is just something that I don't appreciate a lot. I would've just listened to an audiobook if I wanted that. 

My unsolicited advice, would be...

If there are differences between a movie and a book, do not assume that the movie is gonna suck. Changes are okay. Sometimes they work, sometimes they don’t. I myself have seen a movie which is so like the book and I fell asleep before I even get past half point. So I tried watching it again and it took me three tries to finish the movie without falling asleep. But I did sleep after watching the movie because it was so freaking boring. I loved the book though. Still one of my favorites. -C

One Year Ago

One year ago today, Ray Allen made that three-pointer which sent Game 6 to overtime and eventually winning the game over the Spurs.

One year ago today, I was inside a cable car enjoying the beauty of Tung Tsung, Hongkong not knowing what was happening back home.

One year ago today, the most important person in my life was taken away from us and everything's different now. And I mean bad different.

This year, the Spurs won the best-of-seven series, 4-1.

For one year now, I've not traveled via airplane again.

It's been a year now since everything changed. -C

Men In My Family

       All that I was asking for is five hours of uninterrupted sleep. Unfortunately, I've woken up twice in two hours. Thanks to my father and my brother. If only I can give them away then I'll never take them back. They hated each other because they see the worst in each other but they never see themselves in the mirror. I hate the men in my family. Luckily there are only two of them. They are the reason why I am distrustful of men. I can't even trust one from my family let alone trust a stranger. -C

Pointless

           Have you ever had that feeling that everything that is going on in your life seems perfect? Things are happening the way you wanted it. Everything you do makes sense. Then, in an instant, one person goes away. You lost that one person who is the reason why you are doing the things that you do. All of a sudden, everything seems so pointless?

          March is my birth month and I expected it to be my lucky month but why does everything looks so fucked up. Nothing's going right. -C

FUCKED UP LIFE

              What will you do if one day you realized that you have a fucked up life?

              There are five reasons why I believe that my life is a mess.

         One, I can't find a new employer no matter how positive my outlook is. It's like everyone keeps me hanging after the interview. I don't know if I'm doing something wrong or I'm asking for too much. But it's really frustrating and disappointing to be the one always waiting for THE CALL. I'm losing my hope.

           Two, I just lost my mother and I'm a mama's girl. Enough said.

           Three, I'm broke. I don't have anymore shoulders to lean on since my mother died. And because I'm paying for my nephew's schooling, I cannot control my expenses. Now, I don't know how I can pay my bills.

           Four, I have no one to turn to. I really wish I have someone who I can talk to and would be willing to imprison me in his embrace while I cry all my frustrations out. Someone who will be willing to listen to all my rant outs without feeling the need to respond and give his opinion. Someone who will just wipe my tears and comfort me until I fell asleep in his arms.

            Lastly, my father found a replacement. I can't accept that. I can't even welcome the idea that some woman is living in the same house with my father trying to replace all the memories that I have left of my Mama. Everything about it is unacceptable for me. Call me cruel but I just can't. It's only been 9 months and I'm still mourning. I love my Mama so much that she's the only person I can ever trust and can love me the way I want to be loved.
 

             After all that has been said, I wish there is someone who can turn this shit around. Or will You hear my prayer if at this point in my life I'd wish to die? If someone recruits me for a program like Treadstone, be a spy and leave my family and my old life behind, I'd take it. Anything that will give me a new name, new identity and new job away from all of this, I'd take it.

               I can't face this shit right here. I'm not strong enough for this. I can only take so much. The only action I can think of right now is to escape. Go some place where nobody knows me. Start anew -- new environment, new people around me. A place where nothing will remind me of what I left behind. Be a new person, create a new life, a better life. One without attachments, one without commitments. Be a ghost. -C

So-So

One at a time.

Step by step.

One good news received today.

A progress.

But I won't be crushed if this fails.

My world is not gonna stop.

Even if this thing right here won't become a reality.

Life goes on.

There are a lot of other options.

And I can create more when everything runs out.

My life won't depend on something I can't control.

I like running things on my own.

And I like my life so-so.