1:28

 

I've always wanted to write something in a code but I'm pretty sure no one close to me will ever understand it because... no one is really... close to me. LOL! -C

A Letter to My 23-Year-Old Self

     It was the 2nd of February during the wee hours of the morning (3:27 to be exact) when I was awakened by the constant vibrating of my phone. I found out that I was added to a Twitter group by my mutual (an account you follow and follows you back) to a group chat. The group's objective was to create a secret project for someone that we love so dearly. I have no problem with that, in fact, I'm glad that I was considered let alone included.

     For days, we had this constant brainstorming of what output to be made, how are we going to do it and so forth. In the end, it was decided that each of us will submit a handwritten letter to that certain someone, compile it and give it as a gift. Everyone agreed. It is personal, it is simple, it is sweet.

     Come night before the deadline, I was cramming together with a lot of people on my timeline. Haha! I cannot think of anything to write. When was the last time I wrote a letter for someone? College days? And I poured my heart out in that letter. I tried to be sweet and all but it's just not in my DNA. And then I had an idea. Since I can see myself in that certain someone, why not write a letter to myself -- my 23-year old self. And so the writing began.

Dear 2010 version of myself,
 
     How do you feel? Do you feel like this is going to be your best year? Sana ‘no? Though your 2008 was incomparable, I still believe that more good things will come your way. Good things that are way better than money and good career – the simple things. The simple things like freedom to do the things that you want, emotional stability, good relationships and more. Sabi nga ni Usher, ♪♫♪ it’s the simple things in life we forget ♪♫♪. You are fortunate that you had these things right now. You know now to prioritize what’s really important and that is to spend more time with your family. Say I love you to everyone you love. Don’t be shy. This will help you to be more open and to express yourself freely. It’s not a bad thing.

     Spend time and money on the things and people that will matter in the long run. Learn to fight for what you want.  Don’t always give way to others. You also matter. You are important too. Some people want you to fight for them too. Don’t be a coward. This will save you a lot of regrets in the future. When you get older, I hope you will remember this part of your life and come back to the present-day with a smile. Happy and contented with your choices in life. Yun naman ang importante sa lahat di ‘ba? Yung naging masaya tayo? Yung masaya pa rin tayo? Because at the end of the day, it will only be you. Ikaw lang din ang maiiwan para sa sarili mo. So keep seeking and fighting for your happiness. You won’t regret it.

Love,

Your future self

Note: I was kind of expecting this one to be so touching and heart-tugging. I was surprised when it turned out to be light and easy. Guess I'm not a sappy person at all. -C

Coping with Grief

10th of February:

 

“At some point we all have to let go.”

     At the beginning of this year, I found myself reflecting about the past years. I was feeling optimistic. I was ready to move forward. I told my friends that this has been the most emotionally stable I've felt in a long time. And if you were following this blog then you probably know that every time Feb. 11th (my mother's birthday) is approaching, I become an emotional wreck. I always, always find myself crying and grieving the loss of my mother. Days prior to today, I did not feel that. I was surprisingly fine. I thought I was finally moving on. It has been a little less than five years. And then I decided to see Charlie St. Cloud.  -C