Hiding Place

WELCOME TO MY THOUGHT CORNER!

This is my personal "hiding place" where I can talk about my feelings and thoughts freely; the perfect corner where I can give life to my daydreams and complain about my reality; an escape to share my kind of crazy and keep my sanity. I love words that rhyme and that is not a crime. This is a mixture of darkness, butterflies and confetti. If you're still reading this then it's working so go ahead and enjoy the rest of it. - C

Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Hopeless Hope

            Have you ever had that moment when you look back to that time when all this life-after-graduation was just a dream? When teachers and professors used to ask, “how do you see yourself 10 or 15 years from now”? Then you went on and compare your answers to where you really are right now? And you begin to wonder if those dreams of yours will ever come to life.

            I've been working for more than three years now and still can't see any of those dreams coming to life except that I have a job and I am a CPA. Aside from that, there's none. I know it's still early to assess everything but I need to feel that I am going somewhere certain. Even prayers need some answers. Even faith needs hope. Even trust needs a little assurance. Then a sudden realization came. I think I've been hanging on to these hopeless hopes for too long. -C

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Lifehouse Live in Manila 2012

           
           When Lifehouse first came here back in 2008, I really wanted to watch their show but all the odds are against me. I just graduated from college. I was jobless and I was preparing myself for the board exam. I deprived myself of a lot of things --sleep, watching basketball games live, watching movies and watching concerts. I was afraid that if I indulged myself with too much happiness, something bad and sad will come next like not passing the board exam which at that time was THE GOAL for me. So to cut the story short, I didn't get to see them.

          All the luck came before 2008 ends. I passed the exam and I got a job. I can now afford to be happy, literally and figuratively. 2009 and 2010 passed. Then 2011, April, one of my favorite bands came. The Script. It was the best concert for me. Then my all-time favorite group, Westlife, also came last September. My music life is almost complete. Except for one, Lifehouse.

          2012 started and I have only one wish/condition/new year's resolution. That is, I will only watch a concert if and only if The Script, Westlife and Lifehouse will come back. Come March, I got the news that Lifehouse is coming back. I was so excited that I was again willing to see   them S-O-L-O. But my friends wanted to see them too so, fine! Upper B. But I really wanted to see Jason up close so what I did was, I looked up on the internet, specifically www.sulit.com.ph for a better ticket deal and I found one. Upper A at a discounted price of Php 1,800 from the original Php 2,650. Great deal right? It was bogus! And I won't waste a portion of my blog for those pathetic people behind it.

         Due to timely checking of their fanpage, I found out that they will hold a CD signing in SM Manila, Friday before their show on Saturday. And working in Makati is not really an advantage to get to the venue before 5pm. So I worked my butt off to be able to spend my Friday in one of our sites in Manila and begged a friend to accompany me to the event. After the hardwork and the begging, the event was cancelled. Nice (insert sarcastic tone here)! But I think it was a blessing that it got cancelled. It was rescheduled the following day.


         May 26. Concert day! One of my friends/officemates texted me the night before that she wanted to attend the CD signing too. Good. Companion won't be a problem anymore. The event will be at 1pm so we agreed to meet at 12nn. Before leaving the house, I again checked their fanpage to see if it will push through. Positive. But instead of CD signing, it will be a meet and greet. I thought, fine! Better than nothing. I was actually more concerned that my companion might not want to spend a dime to get inside the venue. I was surprised when I found her already inside the event activity center waving at me. Why do I worry myself for things that should not be a problem in the first place? ^_^ Obviously, we both are fans.

           The band came at around 1:30 to 2pm. I can't really remember the exact time. Late or not, it doesn't matter. As soon as we saw the security and the event organizers hovering, we knew that it's time. The band has arrived! The funny thing was, the crowd outside of the barricades were the ones screaming the loudest. Tsk! Tsk! People.


           It was my first time to see Jay (and the rest of the band) in person. They were 6-feet away. How about that? At that part of the day I already feel accomplished. Complete. Satisfied. Not knowing of the good things that are still to come. I had no idea that they will be giving away tickets and meet and greet passes at the event. I just found out after I entered the place. And knowing me, winning at contests based on luck is not really my friend. 

         When the band arrived, they started calling out names of the 20 winners of the Upper B tickets. During that time, I was busy taking pictures and I had a short moment of hallucination. I thought I heard Jason called my name. So I followed the line of the winners. But the organizers asked us to go back to our seats as the band was leaving for we will be called again to claim our prizes. So the band left. The fans settled down. The just-curious crowd disappeared. As we were told, the names were once again called and that was the time I have confirmed that I was hallucinating. But thanks to the fans who I suspected followed the band when they left. Some of the winners called were not present to claim their prize so they draw another name and my friend was called. Yey! I was genuinely happy for her and not expecting anything though I know that the 20 winners of the meet and greet passes are not yet determined. Again, draw lots isn't really my game. But as I was waiting for her to claim the prize, the organizers started calling out the names of the winners of backstage passes. Charina Fernandez. F! That's me! I asked her, "I was called, right?". Just confirming. No Jason, no hallucination ^_^


           After the SM Manila event, we went straight to Cubao and killed some time chatting, eating and comparing scores of boys haha! Come 8 o'clock, the bogus seller of the imaginary ticket haven't showed up yet so we decided to have a "quick dinner" at KFC. If she decided to stand us up (if it's not yet what it is) then we will buy from the ticket booth. That is the only option we have. We let one friend in so she can update us what was happening inside. She was worried to miss the opening but I for myself know that the show doesn't start at exactly 8pm. Especially when there is a front act. In this case it was Never the Strangers. The band who sang Moving Closer from Close Up commercial. By 8:30pm she was texting us that we should get in and the front act had announced that it was their last song. Still I wasn't worried. The Lifehouse crew will have to re-arrange the stage and test the instruments before showtime. But we decided to purchase the tickets anyway and give up on Kate (you know who you are, sham!)

          The lights are still on when we get in. But it's all good. At least I have time to compose myself before I lose control of my fan mode. 9 on the dot, SHOWTIME!!!


         I can't remember who came in first but I think it was either Ben or Bryce slaying the guitar or the bass. Then Jason materialize in the middle of the stage singing something I do not know! Haha! But I can hear him singing the words ♪♫♪ ladies and gentlemen ♪♫♪. I'm not sure if it's really a song-song but who cares anyway? Everybody is excited so the crowd responded as if it was the number one hit of the band. But I still consider All In as their first song. Followed by Here Tomorrow Gone Today. Both are from their Smoke and Mirrors album. Then Jay made the biggest compliment a band could ever say to their fans, "our show here 4 years ago was the highlight of our career", now I feel bad. I wasn't there :-( Don't do that Jay! And then he bounced back with, "and I believe you could all do better tonight. Yeah?" Well done! I forgive you now keep playing. My friend's request Spin was played, followed by Nerve Damage. Then holy cow! He went down the stage shaking people's hands while singing. Girls gone gaga as if he was naked. Everybody wanted to touch him like a Jason Wade devout. Everybody wants to take a picture of him like a paparazzi. He almost reached the Lower Box section and I think he was willing to go farther if only the bouncers and the guards let him. Darn security, he was looking for me don't you know that? LOL! When he couldn't find me ^_^ he went back to the stage and sing the ever popular You and Me. It used to be the "national anthem" of the Lifehouse fans. Followed by another love song Whatever It Takes. And just like every Filipino, if you know the song, sing along. Jason? Jason? Woohooo? He disappeared! Haha! Okay. Maybe he just doesn't want to steal the spotlight from Bryce because the latter was about to sing Wrecking Ball. Good move. But seriously, I was looking for him while Bryce was singing. But I definitely have a vivid vision of B every time I hear the song now. 

          After being MIA, Jay showed up with his acoustic guitar. Ben, Bryce and Rick left him alone up there. Or in our case, down there hehe. The spotlight is all his so is the next 10 minutes of the show. It was and still is my second favorite part of the show. He was like a music box, a jukebox, a music machine. Just tell him any Lifehouse song that you want to hear and he will play it and sing it for you. It was so intimate for me. You know how it is when inside a small bar or restaurant and an acoustic band is playing in front? That's how I felt. The only difference is, Jason is one sexy musician at your service LOL. He sang bits of the songs Storm, Everything, my favorite Blind, Breathing, Sick Cycle Carousel and From Where You Are. His reaction to the crowd's response is so precious. Just precious.


          Wash and Take Me Away was played next and it was like a breather to me but not for them. It was time to rock it out! I don't know if it's just me but Stanley Climbfall is my least favorite Lifehouse album. Then it's time to sing another anthem, Hanging by a Moment and then their hits back to back to back which got the crowd singing along and swaying their lighting sticks from left to right like worshipers. Then Jay started acknowledging Rick, Bryce and Ben before they bid goodbye. You know how bands do it when the show is about to end. But we ain't first timers. We know you're coming back because we want moooooorrreee!!! Keep chanting people. They have to come back ^_^ For more than 5 minutes, people are screaming, yelling, chanting and begging for them to comeback and of course they did with Bryce saying that the Philippines is their favorite country to play in the entire world. I don't know if that was sincere but what the heck! I believe you, B. Encore is the best part of the show and people are up on their feet, most of them at least, and I am Halfway Gone to insanity. And when the intro for Everything started playing? OH.MY.GOSH! That was my most possessed moment. I thought they won't be playing it again because Jason already sang it during the 10-minute-medley but they did and I'm glad. I remember Colton Dixon of American Idol Season 11 singing it and I'm sorry C but for me, nothing beats the original. My mind is closed like that. You can keep trying though.

          Right after the song, I badly wanted to grab somebody else's binocular and check J, B, B and R's reaction as they were taking their final bows,  thanking the crowd and waving goodbye. I hope we lived to their expectations because they've exceeded mine. I didn't talk about Jay's singing because it wasn't necessary. It was effortless. It was flawless. That's what I like about this band. There are no recording tricks. What you hear is real. I just noticed something, Jay loves rocking with his leather shoes on. Not your usual sneaker guy.


           Crap! Have I been talking that long? Sorry about that. Immediately after the show, I went down straight to the backstage to line up for the meet and greet. I'm touched that they are still willing to accommodate fans even after a tiring almost-two-hour performance. It was a brief meet and greet. Very brief. No cameras allowed. No autograph signing. Just hand shakes. Hi-Hello. How are you? Look into the camera. Say cheese. Thank you. Bye. Yes, that brief. But I swear, it was the most surreal i-don't-know-if-that-even-reached-2-minutes of my life. And since I was the first in line in our group, I rushed into that space between Jason and Rick. I wasn't even able to reply to Rick's how-are-you greeting. But I remember I was able to tell Bryce that he was amazing. With Jason, I think I swallowed my tongue and just wish my shame followed it maybe then I could've asked him if I could give him a hug. Pffff! Regrets. My only consolation is that I was able to touch his sexy back and caress it a bit. Okay. That was inappropriate. A moment of perversion. LOL!

         As of now I am still waiting for Dayly Entertainment to post the pictures and I will not be surprised if I found myself sparkling in sweat and glitter, big smile, blocked by another fan and hair everywhere. Poise is not really my priority when standing right next to one of my biggest crushes. May 26 maybe a long day for me but I'll treasure that day as one of my luckiest days. Well, perhaps except for one thing. They didn't play my favorite song It Is What It Is. But all is well. My heart as well.


          I just hope they'll never get tired of coming back here and they will always see the Philippines as special. I hope they come back soon. Release a new album and do another world tour. Perhaps in two or three years. Maybe in a couple of years, I'll be rich enough to afford myself a VIP ticket and I can buy a couple of extra for my friends :-) Who knows!? When that time comes maybe Jason is single again and he will finally set his beautiful green eyes on me and sing to me the sweetest Lifehouse song ever!... Owww-key! That's my cue. Time to wake up. The dream is over. -C

Meet and Greet picture c/o Dayly Entertainment

Complete Setlist:
1. All In
2. Here Tomorrow Gone Today
3. Spin
4. Nerve Damage
5. You and Me
6. Whatever It Takes
7. Wrecking Ball
8. Jason Wade Medley (Storm, Everything, Blind, Breathing, Sick Cycle Carousel, From Where You Are)
9. Wash
10. Take Me Away
11. Hanging By A Moment
12. Falling In
13. First Time
14. Broken

Encore:
15. Halfway Gone
16. Everything  

Friday, May 25, 2012

Facebook and Twitter

          Facebook is not Twitter and Twitter is not Facebook. There are reasons why I post a certain status on Facebook and not tweet it. Same reason why I tweet certain things and not share it on Facebook.

FACEBOOK: If I want to talk about a certain topic (in public), I'll share it on Facebook. And I am ready to explain it/about it the moment I hit the share button. Everyone should be too. Hence, the COMMENT button. There is also a reason why more characters are allowed in sharing a status on your timeline. That is because you are allowed to say anything you want and explain everything you have to and not to be cryptic and subtle about it. Subtlety is for Twitter. 

        Facebook is a mutual thing. You can see each other's status the moment you accepted one's friend request. Unless you are added to his/her restricted list. But until none of you have done that, you will see each other's posts whether you like it or not. And you have to be open to the fact that you just gave an announcement and be accommodating enough to provide them answers and also be brave enough to read the harshest comments. If you can not deal with that, well, there is always an UNFRIEND button. It's free ^_^ but I can not guarantee that it is going to be harmless. Friendships have been broken due to that option. They say prevention is better than cure so be careful and smart enough before accepting friend requests.

TWITTER: If I just want something to get out of my head and out of my chest, I'll tweet about it. That's it! Maybe I don't want to talk about it. Maybe I do. But it is safer to assume that I don't. Always remember this one, not all tweets need explanation. There is a REPLY button, yes, but there is also a DIRECT MESSAGE button. There is no COMMENT button, only a RETWEET and a FAVORITE. If I want to talk about it, friends are just a text and a call away. Or a viber and a voxer for that matter. 

            Like what I said earlier, subtlety is for Twitter. Be subtle, be blunt and be cryptic all you want for Twitter is not a mutual thing. People can follow your tweets without you needing to do the same thing for them. You can filter the people you want to be following you by making your account a public or a private one. And they can always UNFOLLOW you when they get tired of your subtle, blunt and cryptic tweets. So again, not all tweets need explanation hence the 140-character limit. So stop asking, keep tweeting. Like what twitter used to say, BE CLEVER. -C

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

These Guys Are Not Real

           May 1, holiday. I was excited yesterday thinking that I could get to do a movie-marathon or I could sleep all day without worrying for anything since tomorrow, May 2, will be training day and it is one of those days that we can enjoy because we don't do work, we don't check e-mails and we go home while the sun is still up but ready to set though. It is very rare that we get to see the setting of the sun during weekdays. There is a huge possibility that it is from inside the office while we're looking outside of the window.

         Well anyhow, back to my story. I woke up past 12 in the afternoon that is and my head spins a little bit from having too much sleep and more from crying last night not because of some... whatever issue but because of watching Hachiko. I feel you, Hachi. Waiting really sucks. It made me thinking, I should have a statue too. Haha! Just kidding.

       Driving back to the right path, my plan was to do a movie-marathon which I did, with a twist. It became movies-that-I've-seen-more-than-once-marathon. I watched Life As We Know It, Sweet Home Alabama, Crazy Stupid Love, What's Your Number? and The Back Up Plan... again. A little too many chick flicks that got me thinking why don't I have a man? Yes, you hear me. Or should I say, you read it right. Just so you know, I'm not always like this. Ugh, enough of my excuses. It then started raining and it makes me yearn for someone to cuddle with. Damn! I hate the rain. It makes me feel all emo and sad and sappy. And then it makes me think all of the man in the movies that I've seen and it made me realize, these guys don't exist. Sam and Messer don't exist. Jake Perry doesn't exist. Jacob, the hot guy from the bar doesn't exist. Colin, the sexy and always naked guy from across the hall doesn't exist. And most definitely not Stan can stun me.

         How in the first place have I thought that these guys are real? And that I am a girl who's waiting to be swept off my feet by one of them? Blame it all to the rain and the lightning and the thunder. I think it's even more possible that Thor will emerge from the dark clouds to save the humanity from whatever. Ooopps! There goes my issues - distrust of men. Remind me again how it came to this? Because I wouldn't want to go there again. And I'm telling you I am not proud of this one. But I'll share it anyway. -C