Young, Single and Free

      Sometimes I feel like I’m not living a normal life. Yes I may have a good job, great friends and I can do whatever I want if I choose to but… I feel like I don’t have the right to do so. I feel like I’m imprisoned in a small box. Too afraid to get out and be judged by anyone. I want to be able to live like I’m young, single and free.

​I don’t want to act like the oldest in the family who has to oversee and handle everything. For once, I don’t want to be the one who everyone runs to when things fucked up. I don’t want to do all the thinking and make the decision for everyone. I want to be able to make mistakes and shake off the result as if I’m supposed to make them. I want to act like I’m 28 without anything to be stressed about.

​I don’t want to act like a mother who thinks about the welfare of her children first before hers. For once, I don’t want to work overtime as if I have to earn the money to feed four children and a husband. I don’t want to ignore the attention of the boys like a married woman is supposed to. I want to be able to make a decision without considering other people. I want to act like a single woman who doesn’t have commitments and doesn’t need to care about anyone.

​I don’t want to act like I know everything and that I am not capable of making mistakes. For once, I don’t want to feel guilty about what I say to people and what I feel towards anyone. I don’t want to think too much about the consequences of my actions. I want to act stupid and not be judged as being not so smart. I want to act like a daredevil without a care in the world.

​For 26 years, I thought I was living a normal life until I lost my mother and everything went array. I thought I was standing so high seeing the world until my rock fell and I went down with it. I had to assume so much responsibilities that I forgot to live my life. Right now, I wish I can live like I’m young, single and free because I am… YOUNG, SINGLE and FREE. -C