I Can and I Will!

          When it rains, it pours. Just like problems or let’s just put it as challenges. But whatever you call them, it doesn’t change the fact that they are pouring. I don’t know how they are supposed to help me. I don’t know why I have to go through all these. I may know all the quotable quotes for every situation especially for situations like this one that I am in right now but, ironically, I cannot seem to apply them at this very moment. I thought I was clever at giving advices, telling people what to do and how to do it, dealing with the most difficult situations. I realize I suck at dealing with my own problems.

          I thought having troubles with my studies is the biggest problem I could have right now but I guest not. I hate to say this but my parents suck at making things better. I know that having petty fights is inevitable between two people but I can feel that theirs is getting serious and is at its worst. I want to ask, why now? Why do they have to do this when everything in school is so exhausting? I feel like everything is just too much. I may not be able to handle it. I may seem okay with my schoolmates but inside, I’m not really okay. I am just not good at sharing things with other people, not even my friends. That is one of my weaknesses. I am too distrustful of everyone. I guess it’s because every time I put my trust into someone, they screwed up. And it came to this point where I cannot seem to trust anyone.

          I was continually asking, no one in particular, why do they have to do this right now? Cannot it happen later? Cannot it happen after I graduate? Or at least after the time I am certain that I am really graduating? Geeez! So I guess that is why they call it as challenges. It happens at the wrong time. But I am telling myself, these challenges won’t stop me from chasing my dreams. They cannot put me down. I can do this even if I am alone. My brother will not bother asking, my sister will not care, and my other sister who cares is not in the country. All she can do is care. That’s why I feel like fighting alone. But I am a tough kid. I can overcome all of these. I can overcome everything. They cannot hinder my dreams and my goals. I will graduate this semester! Whatever challenges are yet to come. I can do this. And I know that things will not always be like this. -C